The F4 (Meteor Garden) Effect

"How the name Chinito change my life". - Mr. Moonrider

Insik! Oh my! Not again!  

When the "Negro" name was overcame through the existence of the greatest basketball player of all time, Michael Jordan, I am still here, with the names used as a joke-bully reference. Well, as I have said I have that Japanese-Chinese eyes. So, Insik and Hapon is still there with a negative effect.

I don't know... Everyone knows Bruce Lee, Jacky Chan and other Chinese actors, these guys are famous, why can't they used their names instead. 

Now, let me tell you a story...

We are five siblings in the family. Two Sisters, and three brothers. The eldest is a girl, I am the 2nd, after me is a boy, then a girl then the youngest is a boy. 

The funny thing about us five is that it is very evident that we don't look the same. Unlike any other siblings the mostly have all the resemblance and perfect similarities. But Us?, we don't. 

People used to make fun of us. Although, of course we have the resemblances in some little ways,  you won't be able see those by a quick glance, . It would take you a day or maybe a week or two to recognize the similarities. Those who knew us, can see the resemblance but those who don't would instantly say we aren't siblings. 

We enjoyed being portrayed by people in that manner, we even have different far out characters and attitude that neither our parents taught us so, we have our own distinct attitude existed in us naturally. That is why through the years we develop some bully names for each other.

BOK, SIK, LAW , TOK, GOL. So, what's the meaning of all these? Or you can read them like this BOOK, SEEK, LAW, TOOK, GOAL. 😊 

Simple! 

1. Tam-bok - means Fat. Our Eldest is a heavy weight in her category. Well, that is how she look like to me.

2. In-sik,   -  means Chinese. That's me. 

3. Hi-law,  - means uncooked. My brother who had a fair complexion. Lighter skinned. He look American too to some. Hilaw refers to white people as we Filipinos portray them as half cook or uncooked. 

4. U-tok,  -  Brain. My younger sister, who made some comments whenever my brother ask something as if she knows everything of course she knows, it is just my brother get insecure and annoyed.

5. Ba-gol.-  Coconut Shell.. Our youngest has the hardest skull in the world, Hard Nut you know. We use to slam his head on the wall but he would just smile and laugh. When we get mad at him and do that, we lose because he will just laugh. Most of the time he hit his head himself almost to anything hard, still he is okay. 

With a happy acceptance of those names, still deep inside me I feel like I was the least good looking among the siblings. You see, Negro-Insik-Japanese. And I don't look great when I was younger.  

I also remember when we were  young, me and my brother. We have no mirrors for months, it was a three month summer. Of course we were young and naïve, I actually forgot how I look, with no other reference at all. I mean my sisters are close with their own way, and our youngest brother is still a new born baby at that time. I don't have much time playing with them face to face. So, the only idea to know how I look like was my younger brother Jr. He is the only reference I can get, he was the only playmate I have for the whole summer.  So, I feel so confident, I look lighter I guess and not Insik.  Except that, I get disturbed when we see people outside call us Negro and Amerkano. I was so confused, the thing is I did not bother to put my arms next to my brother's  to see if there was a big difference in our color. Yes, I know there is but at that time I did not, I just wanted to make believe to myself that I really look like him. No mirrors anyway. 

Until  my father received  a mirror, actually it was a wall first aid kit box with a mirror in it. 

There, for the first time, I think I will see myself through the mirror to see my face.

I was so nervous.  

Then I overcame my fear. The first aid mirror box was too high so I grab a chair and climb through it and see myself in the mirror.  There... I saw myself doesn't look like my brother. And I feel bad. I didn't look to the mirror anymore.  

Insik and Hapon and dark skinned young boy. 

Later on somebody gave my parents a closet with a mirror. The same feeling. This time the mirror is lowered so you can see yourself standing on the floor. I was afraid to look at it. As soon as they already placed the closet to their desired location in the house. Then, I was waiting for my parents to be away so I can have the private time to look at myself through that mirror to confirm. I was somewhat guessing that mirrors are not the same. 

Yes, they are away, my father left for work. My mother was in the laundry area washing by hand.  

I was able to have the chance. So, I look.... 

and I see the same boy.   It was a very devastating feeling. I was very low and sad that time. 

This lasted for more than a decade, I kept it to myself.

This insecurity lingers.  

Back in the 90's suddenly there was  a new popular action star. And his best asset was not only his good acting but also his so called Killer Smile. He got that Chinese eyes more than I do especially when he smiles. And some friends said I look like him just a little darker. Okay! Alright! Enough! 

Anyway, during my highs school and college days that was the best compliment I receive from people. But still it has a less impact. I was happy but not much inside. 

In 2001 one, A Korean Nobela  called "The Meteor Garden" became a sensational tv series. The youngsters were in love. Especially there are 4 young men in that series and name them "The F4".  They are all Insik.   

My life suddenly change. My eyes when I smile. People slowly notice it.

Later whoever invented the name "Chinito" I must say thank you.  Insik was now a "Chinito", a cuter and a positive version of Insik.  

Bully was no longer a weight. I haven't heard any bad impact after F4 and the word Chinito became popular. The best thing about this effect, skin color don't matter as long as you have a Chinese eyes,  automatically you're a "Chinito".

I am a happy guy right now! 

Whenever and whoever calls me Insik, is no longer a bully but a compliment! All Filipino Chinese-eyes must be proud right now. 

I would like to share these two wonderful songs as they remind me of the F4, Tagalog Version. And also the Tagalog song called "Chinito", written by Jed Dumawal and perfectly interpreted with cuteness by Yeng Constantino. Enjoy!